I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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