It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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