nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
