we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
