If i come over, it means nothing
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
