I'm really into asian looking animals
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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