You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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