She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
