Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
