i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize