We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
