Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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