i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
