How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
