i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
