Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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