who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
