she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize