in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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