What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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