I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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