What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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