Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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