I wish i was in the wii world.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
