I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
