I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize