Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Your penis caused this!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
