I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He passed out mid-signature
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I had to cum in my sink.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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