My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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