I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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