So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
