Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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