What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
