did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
