I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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