Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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