i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
