i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
