I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
