I need help removing her.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sorry about my life...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
