I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
40s are totally the cure
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize