We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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