Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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