I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
