yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
