well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
false alarm. still invincible.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
