I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
