Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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