Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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