Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
