Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
