i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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