Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
