Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
