Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They took my balls.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
MIDGETS
????
You are the jesus of drinking
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
