just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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