I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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