I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
